Thursday, April 30, 2009
Edinburgh
We are finally here in Scotland. Here is a photo from our walk yesterday to Edinburgh Castle. It took me a few days to get my phone system figured out, but I think I can check messages fairly regularly now. I hope everyone is enjoying the spring as much as I am, but possibly getting a little more sleep!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Chicago
On our way to the UK, we are stopping to visit our daughter and her husband in Chicago. Here's a photo of the city coming in from the airport on Highway 94. 
Friday, April 17, 2009
Ten Techniques for Increasing Happiness
Inspired by Dr. Martin Seligman’s Positive Psychology
1. Keep a gratitude list. Write in your journal or therapy notebook three things every day that you are grateful for, that went well, or that make you happy. For an added bonus, share the daily list with a loved one.
2. Write a letter of gratitude to an important person in your life, and share it with them in person. Do it again with another person who means a lot to you.
3. Practice secret acts of service and kindness. Be as unobtrusive but effective as possible. Begin by doing one per week and work up to once daily.
4. Reframe setbacks as challenges and opportunities rather than as defeats. This may be something to practice with your therapist.
5. Pursue a challenging hobby or avocation. Make time for the interest that you gave up long ago—it may truly improve your life.
6. When speaking with your spouse or loved ones, practice active, constructive (that is, engaged and truly listening) responding. Don’t just say “uh-huh.” Listen and comment in supportive ways. Soon you’ll find them reciprocating as the relationship improves.
7. Try writing your own legacy. How do you want to be remembered?
8. Learn to savor life as it happens. Practice being in the moment, enjoying the sensory details of the world we live in, and your own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual response. Do brief meditation/mindfulness moments throughout your day.
9. Be socially active. Seek out the company of others regularly. Even if it’s hard at first, it will give a boost to your mood.
10. At this web site: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx try the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire (scroll down to the middle of the page). You have to register, but you can make up a name and email address if you’d rather not leave your own.
1. Keep a gratitude list. Write in your journal or therapy notebook three things every day that you are grateful for, that went well, or that make you happy. For an added bonus, share the daily list with a loved one.
2. Write a letter of gratitude to an important person in your life, and share it with them in person. Do it again with another person who means a lot to you.
3. Practice secret acts of service and kindness. Be as unobtrusive but effective as possible. Begin by doing one per week and work up to once daily.
4. Reframe setbacks as challenges and opportunities rather than as defeats. This may be something to practice with your therapist.
5. Pursue a challenging hobby or avocation. Make time for the interest that you gave up long ago—it may truly improve your life.
6. When speaking with your spouse or loved ones, practice active, constructive (that is, engaged and truly listening) responding. Don’t just say “uh-huh.” Listen and comment in supportive ways. Soon you’ll find them reciprocating as the relationship improves.
7. Try writing your own legacy. How do you want to be remembered?
8. Learn to savor life as it happens. Practice being in the moment, enjoying the sensory details of the world we live in, and your own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual response. Do brief meditation/mindfulness moments throughout your day.
9. Be socially active. Seek out the company of others regularly. Even if it’s hard at first, it will give a boost to your mood.
10. At this web site: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx try the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire (scroll down to the middle of the page). You have to register, but you can make up a name and email address if you’d rather not leave your own.
The "As-If" Exercise
Imagine that one morning you wake up OK. The struggle has been successful, the battles won, the changes made, there is nothing more to feel guilty about or to berate yourself for. You truly deserve love, satisfaction, success, respect, and all the good things in life. This may take some time to fully imagine. Don't be in a hurry. Feel it all the way inside. How would things be different if you were just fine right now?
My emotional state:
My view of myself:
My personal habits:
My relationships and the way I behave with others:
My plans for the future:
What I would do just because I wanted to:
Why I can't act and feel this way now, what's stopping me:
At least one thing that I can do right now:
At least one positive way that I can feel or believe about myself:
My emotional state:
My view of myself:
My personal habits:
My relationships and the way I behave with others:
My plans for the future:
What I would do just because I wanted to:
Why I can't act and feel this way now, what's stopping me:
At least one thing that I can do right now:
At least one positive way that I can feel or believe about myself:
Types of Relaxation Exercises
JACOBSONIAN RELAXATION (tense/relax):
The most basic type of relaxation, this exercise is based on the fact that the resting state of muscles after contraction is less tense than before contraction:
Separate muscle groups are tensed and relaxed in turn, in conjunction with breathing. The muscle groups are chosen systematically (i.e., from head to foot or vice versa), and the same routine is followed each time. Although they may be modified, general procedures are as follows:
1. Begin by being aware of breathing. Take several deep breaths (slowly, so as not to hyperventilate).
2. On a deep inhalation, hold the breath and tense the muscle group for a slow count of five. Upon exhalation, release the tension.
3. Take another slow deep breath (without holding), and release residual tension.
4. Breath in a normal, less deep manner for at least two breaths before tensing again.
5. Repeat at least once for the same muscle group.
The muscle groups should be as small as possible--shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, and hands, for example, rather than just "arms". Right and left sides should be done separately. Some muscle groups should be tensed in more than one way. The mouth can be opened wide or tightly shut; the hands can be balled into fists or splayed open; the stomach can be sucked against the backbone or tensed (as if a bowling ball were going to fall on it); the feet can be flexed or extended. Thoroughly done, this exercise can take several hours. Shortcuts are ok, of course.
DEEP MUSCLE RELAXATION
This exercise is very similar to the Jacobsonian technique, except there is no deliberate tensing of muscles. The breath is not held, but the person relaxes separate muscle groups on exhalation, again moving in a systematic manner throughout the body. Be sure to repeat the relaxation at least 2x per muscle group.
AUTOGENIC TRAINING
This exercise involves self-suggestion and the autonomic nervous system. At one time believed not to be under voluntary control, studies have found that para- and sympathetic functioning is actually quite amenable to conscious intervention.
1. Find a comfortable reclining position.
2. Scan the body for tense or uncomfortable areas, and adjust position or consciously relax that area.
3. Internally repeat the following phrases, allowing at least ten seconds between repetitions and at least ten repetitions per phrase:
My breathing is smooth and rhythmic.
My heartbeat is slow and regular.
My stomach is calm and relaxed.
Warmth is flowing into my right arm and hand.
My right arm and hand are heavy and warm.
Repeat the last two phrases for left arm and hand, right leg and foot, left leg and foot. Then repeat the entire procedure. People can increase the temperature of their extremities by several degrees because of the increased blood flow to the arms and legs. They can actually lower heartrate, muscle tension, and blood pressure when using this exercise.
VISUAL IMAGERY
This exercise allows the most variability and specificity in dealing with tension and anxiety. The person should first do a short version of whichever of the above exercises is most effective, in order to achieve a state of physical and mental relaxation before beginning visual imagery.
The imagery can be as simple as the memory of a favorite relaxing place, or as complex as a detailed journey through a fantasyland, with encounters with multiple characters. It can be as short as 5 minutes or as long as an hour--20-40 minutes is optimal, in my experience. It can deal directly with real-life problems by behavior rehearsal, or speak symbolically to deep personality structures. This type of relaxation exercise is perhaps best approached with a therapist.
Comments:
The first three types of exercise can be done by individuals at home. They may find it helpful to tape record their own or their therapist's voice and then listen to the tape when relaxing, in order to achieve the passive, receptive state that best promotes relaxation. Deep relaxation can be similar to a trance state. Therapists and patients should be somewhat cautious of the statements made in any of these exercises if the person is susceptible to suggestion. Feedback from the person is very important.
The most basic type of relaxation, this exercise is based on the fact that the resting state of muscles after contraction is less tense than before contraction:
Separate muscle groups are tensed and relaxed in turn, in conjunction with breathing. The muscle groups are chosen systematically (i.e., from head to foot or vice versa), and the same routine is followed each time. Although they may be modified, general procedures are as follows:
1. Begin by being aware of breathing. Take several deep breaths (slowly, so as not to hyperventilate).
2. On a deep inhalation, hold the breath and tense the muscle group for a slow count of five. Upon exhalation, release the tension.
3. Take another slow deep breath (without holding), and release residual tension.
4. Breath in a normal, less deep manner for at least two breaths before tensing again.
5. Repeat at least once for the same muscle group.
The muscle groups should be as small as possible--shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, and hands, for example, rather than just "arms". Right and left sides should be done separately. Some muscle groups should be tensed in more than one way. The mouth can be opened wide or tightly shut; the hands can be balled into fists or splayed open; the stomach can be sucked against the backbone or tensed (as if a bowling ball were going to fall on it); the feet can be flexed or extended. Thoroughly done, this exercise can take several hours. Shortcuts are ok, of course.
DEEP MUSCLE RELAXATION
This exercise is very similar to the Jacobsonian technique, except there is no deliberate tensing of muscles. The breath is not held, but the person relaxes separate muscle groups on exhalation, again moving in a systematic manner throughout the body. Be sure to repeat the relaxation at least 2x per muscle group.
AUTOGENIC TRAINING
This exercise involves self-suggestion and the autonomic nervous system. At one time believed not to be under voluntary control, studies have found that para- and sympathetic functioning is actually quite amenable to conscious intervention.
1. Find a comfortable reclining position.
2. Scan the body for tense or uncomfortable areas, and adjust position or consciously relax that area.
3. Internally repeat the following phrases, allowing at least ten seconds between repetitions and at least ten repetitions per phrase:
My breathing is smooth and rhythmic.
My heartbeat is slow and regular.
My stomach is calm and relaxed.
Warmth is flowing into my right arm and hand.
My right arm and hand are heavy and warm.
Repeat the last two phrases for left arm and hand, right leg and foot, left leg and foot. Then repeat the entire procedure. People can increase the temperature of their extremities by several degrees because of the increased blood flow to the arms and legs. They can actually lower heartrate, muscle tension, and blood pressure when using this exercise.
VISUAL IMAGERY
This exercise allows the most variability and specificity in dealing with tension and anxiety. The person should first do a short version of whichever of the above exercises is most effective, in order to achieve a state of physical and mental relaxation before beginning visual imagery.
The imagery can be as simple as the memory of a favorite relaxing place, or as complex as a detailed journey through a fantasyland, with encounters with multiple characters. It can be as short as 5 minutes or as long as an hour--20-40 minutes is optimal, in my experience. It can deal directly with real-life problems by behavior rehearsal, or speak symbolically to deep personality structures. This type of relaxation exercise is perhaps best approached with a therapist.
Comments:
The first three types of exercise can be done by individuals at home. They may find it helpful to tape record their own or their therapist's voice and then listen to the tape when relaxing, in order to achieve the passive, receptive state that best promotes relaxation. Deep relaxation can be similar to a trance state. Therapists and patients should be somewhat cautious of the statements made in any of these exercises if the person is susceptible to suggestion. Feedback from the person is very important.
Brief Relaxation Technique
suggested by “The Relaxation Response” by Herbert Benson, MD
1. Sit quietly in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
2. Become aware of your breathing. Breathe through your nose if possible. As you breathe out, silently say the word “one” to yourself. Or you may choose another word with a relaxing connotation, such as “peace,” “calm,” “serene,” etc.
3. Deeply relax all your muscles, beginning with your feet and progressing up to your face and head (or the other way around). Exhale tension with each breath.
4. Continue for 5-10 minutes. As an addition or variation, or if you have more time, you may add the visualization of a relaxing place, real or imaginary, where you can be completely comfortable, safe, and calm. Be as detailed as possible in constructing the visualization, using all five sensory modalities.
5. When you finish, sit quietly for a short time, and recall yourself to the present. Do not worry about whether you are successful in achieving a deep level of relaxation. Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace. When distracting thoughts occur, let them float through your consciousness and away (like clouds through the sky) without paying attention to them. Return to repeating your relaxing word.
1. Sit quietly in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
2. Become aware of your breathing. Breathe through your nose if possible. As you breathe out, silently say the word “one” to yourself. Or you may choose another word with a relaxing connotation, such as “peace,” “calm,” “serene,” etc.
3. Deeply relax all your muscles, beginning with your feet and progressing up to your face and head (or the other way around). Exhale tension with each breath.
4. Continue for 5-10 minutes. As an addition or variation, or if you have more time, you may add the visualization of a relaxing place, real or imaginary, where you can be completely comfortable, safe, and calm. Be as detailed as possible in constructing the visualization, using all five sensory modalities.
5. When you finish, sit quietly for a short time, and recall yourself to the present. Do not worry about whether you are successful in achieving a deep level of relaxation. Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace. When distracting thoughts occur, let them float through your consciousness and away (like clouds through the sky) without paying attention to them. Return to repeating your relaxing word.
Basic Cognitive Behavior Therapy
For this exercise you will need a therapy notebook and some time for self-reflection. Next time you notice yourself feeling bad, sit down with a pen and your notebook, and follow these directions:
1. Describe the situation which led to feeling bad:
2. What is your specific feeling? Sad, resentful, worried, etc.? On a scale of 1-10, how strong is the feeling? Use the SUDS Scale [see adjacent post].
3. Write down the negative self-talk that occurs as the situation unfolds:
4. Identify the twisted thinking (see David Burns' "Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking”) that is present in the self-talk:
5. Write rational responses (see Burns' “How to Untwist Your Thinking” from The Feeling Good Handbook) to the negative self-talk:
6. What is your feeling now? On a scale of 1-10, how strong is it?
Repeat as needed, any time you notice that you’re feeling bad.
1. Describe the situation which led to feeling bad:
2. What is your specific feeling? Sad, resentful, worried, etc.? On a scale of 1-10, how strong is the feeling? Use the SUDS Scale [see adjacent post].
3. Write down the negative self-talk that occurs as the situation unfolds:
4. Identify the twisted thinking (see David Burns' "Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking”) that is present in the self-talk:
5. Write rational responses (see Burns' “How to Untwist Your Thinking” from The Feeling Good Handbook) to the negative self-talk:
6. What is your feeling now? On a scale of 1-10, how strong is it?
Repeat as needed, any time you notice that you’re feeling bad.
Measuring the Bad Feelings: Creating Your Own 'SUDS' Scale
The SUDS scale is one way to communicate to yourself or others how much distress you are experiencing. SUDS stands for Subjective Units of Distress Scale. The scale runs from 0 to 10, least to most distress. It is important that you assign your own measures to this scale. Sometimes, it may seem as if your distress is beyond a 10. This scale is adapted from the work of Smyth (1999).
The following is a SUDS using the negative feeling of anxiety, but the scale can be applied to any negative emotion.
0 I am completely relaxed, with no distress. I may be deep in sleep.
1 I am very relaxed. I may be awake but dozing off.
2 I am awake but feel no tension.
3 I feel a little bit of tension; it keeps my attention from wandering.
4 I am feeling some mild distress, apprehension, fear, or anxiety, and body tension.
5 My distress is somewhat unpleasant but I can still tolerate it. (I am looking at a spiderweb with a huge spider in it, but it is several feet away and the spider can't jump that distance.)
6 I am feeling moderate distress and unpleasant feelings. I have some worry and apprehension.
7 My body tension now is substantial and unpleasant, though I can still tolerate it and can think clearly.
8 I am feeling a great deal of distress with high levels of fear, anxiety, worry. I can't tolerate this level of distress for very long.
9 The distress is so great that it is impacting my thinking. I just can't think straight.
10 I am in extreme distress. I am totally filled with panic and I have extreme tension throughout my body. This is the worst possible fear and anxiety I could ever imagine. It is so great that I just can't think at all.
You may use this SUDS scale at any point in time as you work on overcoming your anxiety. You may decide on which SUDS rating means you should take a break from the work and return to relaxation. You may also decide that getting stuck at a certain SUDS level means that you need to stop doing the work for a period of time and consult with your therapist.
The following is a SUDS using the negative feeling of anxiety, but the scale can be applied to any negative emotion.
0 I am completely relaxed, with no distress. I may be deep in sleep.
1 I am very relaxed. I may be awake but dozing off.
2 I am awake but feel no tension.
3 I feel a little bit of tension; it keeps my attention from wandering.
4 I am feeling some mild distress, apprehension, fear, or anxiety, and body tension.
5 My distress is somewhat unpleasant but I can still tolerate it. (I am looking at a spiderweb with a huge spider in it, but it is several feet away and the spider can't jump that distance.)
6 I am feeling moderate distress and unpleasant feelings. I have some worry and apprehension.
7 My body tension now is substantial and unpleasant, though I can still tolerate it and can think clearly.
8 I am feeling a great deal of distress with high levels of fear, anxiety, worry. I can't tolerate this level of distress for very long.
9 The distress is so great that it is impacting my thinking. I just can't think straight.
10 I am in extreme distress. I am totally filled with panic and I have extreme tension throughout my body. This is the worst possible fear and anxiety I could ever imagine. It is so great that I just can't think at all.
You may use this SUDS scale at any point in time as you work on overcoming your anxiety. You may decide on which SUDS rating means you should take a break from the work and return to relaxation. You may also decide that getting stuck at a certain SUDS level means that you need to stop doing the work for a period of time and consult with your therapist.
Off to the UK Again
My husband and I are taking a group of university students to Scotland and England from 22 April to 23 June this year for BYU Study Abroad. I will have suggestions and ideas for clients at this site to work on if you wish while I'm gone. I will update the blog regularly with links to resources and exercises, and I'll post a few photos of the trip as well. If you are a client, you have my contact info--leave a message at one of my phone numbers and I will call you back.
Have a great spring!
Have a great spring!
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